The secret to cooking spicy food is not to make it so hot it is uncomfortable to eat. Spice should be just enought to get the mouth to salivate, thus cleansing the palate so that it can enjoy the next bite. Read a recipe carefully, just because it calls for cayenne pepper, doesn’t mean it is to be extremely hot. I often add pepper at the end of the recipe so not to make the taste too bitter. And remember you can always add more spice into a recipe, but you can’t take it out once it’s in, so add spices like peppers just a little bit at a time and taste as you go, then add more pepper if you feel that it is neccesary.